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    11/11/2006

    信No.6

    医生:
        我郑重地再问一次,我什么时候能出院。我知道我的判断决定不了,在这儿你们说了算,可是我真的很清醒。虽然在外面他们叫我“疯子”,在这儿你们赐我雅号“精神病患者”,但只有我自己知道,我真的很清醒。
        我很渴望那片蓝天,没有窗栅格子的完整天空。我好想念人潮涌动的大街,每个人行色匆匆,没有人注意我。
        我真的很想出去了。
        我害怕电疗,害怕紧身衣,害怕被锁起来,害怕你们怪异地盯紧我。
        我只是相信我所说的那个世界而已。为什么一定要以你们的判断为准呢?为什么我一定要遵从你们的标准呢?也许是你们不够聪明呢。
        为什么,从抑郁症,到精神分裂症,你们可以一直对我下判断呢?你可以给我定义成“精神病”,我可不可以也把你们定义成“病神精”呢?只是我一个人斗不过你们而已。
        熄灯了,我趴在窗户边借着月光写信给你,值班护士用手电晃我,催我睡觉。为什么,我不能作自己的决定呢。
     
    3082号,李小尤
    (你还记得吗,我也有个名字来着)

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